House of Mirrors

I spent this morning in the house of mirrors having a good hard look at myself - and it wasn’t pretty.  After walking the Alarm Clock Dog this morning I cycled to Fitzroy where I had my bike fitted to my many flaws and quirks by Emma from Top Bike Physio. 

She measured all my limbs, and then made me walk around and step up and down WITH MY T-SHIRT TUCKED INTO MY BRA.  It was hideous- I felt like Emma earned her money this morning just by enduring the sight of my guts all morning.  She then tested all my joints and made the following observations:

1. My joints are super flexible and I am like an enormous piece of spaghetti flailing around on the bike because I don’t have control or tightness so my legs can go wherever they want to.  (Bad)
2. My glutes are weak (we worked this out by Emma trying to find my glute while I stepped up onto a step).  (Bad)
3. My abductors are also weak etc.  (Bad)
4. My core strength is weak (Bad)
5. My patellas are tiny (Bad)
6. My shoulders hunch up (Bad)
7. My right leg has some weird thing called Valgus and it is shorter than the left (Bad)
8. I hyper-extend my knees when I walk adding pressure to my knees (Bad)

Emma then recommended that I:

• Do Step Ups for the glutes
• Practise wiping chewy off my shoe while seat and pushing my foot forward for the VMO and glutes
• Do 3 x bridges three times a week and build up to five minutes (adding 15 seconds a week)
• Draw my shoulders down while I ride, unlock my elbows and think happy thoughts (I added the last bit)
• When walking try to unlock my knees so they are “soft” all the time
• When standing try to turn my right knee outwards to correct the Valgus knee position.
• Get a running coach to assess my running style for any long term viability.

 After being videoed riding on the bike, Emma checked out my angles etc and made some very minor adjustments to my bike- the handlebars were turned up so I am not over extending, my cleats were shifted so I can dip my heels down easily.   

Not sure if you can tell, but I walked out of there thinking that I am lucky that I can walk! It was horrible- but the worst part was being made to do the step ups etc with my stomach on show- followed by the video analysis also with stomach taking up most of the screen.  I am sure Emma wanted to make me do the Truffle Shuffle or ask me if I wanted some fries with that shake.  (can you tell how much it freaked me out??)  I have a copy of the video analysis if anyone doesn’t have enough horror in their lives!

Anyway after that I went and saw Leslie’s new baby Mae who is so tiny and gorgeous!  I don’t think I have ever seen one that new before and I can’t get over how tiny and fragile she was. 

•                      

12:1 Practically running like a normal person!

The Dog Who Sleeps On The Floor Not On The Bed and I went for a run around the lake this morning- (might have to try the Tan on Friday because we are getting a little tired of the lake). I did 12:1 and it was quite easy and pain free- pretty happy about that. I actually couldn’t remember what time I had to run but I thought that 10:1 went all right so I was happy to step up to 12:1. I guess I should try to make an appointment with Dr K to find out where to from here?? (after she gets back from Beijing)

I went around to my sister’s last night and had a go on her Wii Fit- it is soooo much fun. She beat me at slalom skiing but I worked out how to do the ski jump properly and I was really good at the hula hoop! It is a great workout - especially for people like my sister who is very against exercise but she is happy to spend an hour working up a sweat playing hula hoops. It also records your BMI etc and tells you everytime you lose or gain weight and lets you know if your stability has improved- great for core training.

I did okay at the dentist- one filling and two more to come which was the same
prognosis when I last went to the dentist two years ago but I never went back for the pain!. I can’t help but feel ripped off everytime I go to the dentist- like a big cash cow.

I was up at the usual time this morning and walked My Best Friend around a local park (in the dark thinking about murderers again) before riding to the pool- I just swam 1km again- I will try to increase the distance next week, or I might increase one swim and do some “intervals” if I can make it to the pool on another day.  I rode to work after that- and fortunately I remembered my balaclava so I didn’t get an ice cream headache while I was riding to work.

I have been using Calorie King to log what I have been eating - and what I am planning to eat for dinner- it is okay and thankfully it takes exercise into account- but I find that I am left with more kilojoules to play with at the end of the day but I have used up all my carb, protein and fat requirements- you know the only answer to that is WINE!

Dentist tonight because one of my teeth was niggling me and even though the pain has stopped, there is plenty of work to do.  Thursday I have booked in to have my bike fitted to me by the phsyio.  You know that feeling you get sometimes when you think you have your finances in check and everything is sorted out- well I had that feeling, fleetingly a little while ago but it has gone away.

Note to self

There is no reason to think about the deranged murderer who stabbed a fellow bus passenger to death then cut off his head and waved it at terrified bystanders- especially if I am running around the Lake and it is dark, and quiet, and I think I can hear footsteps behind me.  I managed to convince myself that there were no footsteps and it was just an echo so I nearly wet my pants when another runner past me in the dark.  I usually feel very safe with The Ferocious Dog- and she was in fine form this morning, growling and charging at unusual sticks, plastic bags, strange shadows etc. 

I had a great run- the fear made me run a lot quicker and I had a lot more energy for some reason- I felt like I was running twice as fast as normal even when I wasn’t terrified.  Fortunately I don’t have to try to prove that because my foot pod isn’t working- I couldn’t be bothered getting it looked at and now my Polar watch has that failing battery symbol so I will probably send it all off.  (But I really really just want a Garmin)

My gorgeous friend Leslie had a little girl yesterday afternoon (after telling me the day before that she would maybe be induced next week!) called Mae.  I can’t wait to see them. 

Boring week planned and I am working next weekend so I will have a break from the epic cycles that have dominated my past weekends.

100km with Alison

Oh, I was so close to texting Alison early this morning and pulling out on our planned ride to Whittlesea- but all the excuses I had come up with were lame and there is always the risk that whatever I had used eg. being struck on the head by a falling limb whilst walking the dog- would eventuate as some sort of karma.

So I got up at 5.30am, walked the Crazy Dog and then cycled to Alison’s place- I was running a bit late so I had to text her and meet her along the way.  We then rode to Whittlesea- via some back roads then on the main road.  It took me 2:40 to get to Whittlesea, and 2:30 to get home- 100km all up.  It was such a lovely ride- the wind didn’t bother me and I hardly noticed the cold.  Before I met Alison I was talking myself out of having fun at all, I had nasty self talk about how slow I was, how wide I was etc but I had such a great ride.  I am really looking forward to Around The Bay In A Day.

Yesterday morning I ran around the lake with the Crazy Dog- 10:1 and not one second of it was fun- it was so windy and cold and I didn’t enjoy it one bit.

Off to a housewarming tonight- after far too many beers for lunch yesterday I think I might take it easy.  After lunch yesterday I was dropped home early and took the crazy dog for a walk- then I had a reverse sleep in- I went to bed at 7pm.

I love the magic 8 ball

I have embraced the advice of Lara the triathlete who told me that I was just making excuses and I should go to the pool- so yesterday morning when it was so freezing cold that I could barely breathe the air as walked the Lazy Dog- I asked the magic 8 ball if I should go for a swim- the magic 8 ball (application that I downloaded onto my mobile) said of course you should fatty, get moving. 

The pool is outdoors but heated, it was freezing cold on the way to the water, but once I was in, it was the perfect temperature.  There was so much mist coming off the pool that I couldn’t see the other end- I hoped I wasn’t lane trespassing and I forgave the one person who joined my lane a little later on.  I did a kilometre with the pull buoy and I really noticed it in my arms where I get pain during cycling.  Then I rode to work with wet hair- stupid I know, but my Mum wasn’t around to tell me off.

This morning I went to Bundoora and did the Latrobe Uni podiatry study- I had to run in shoes with no support then they put in little sensors into the shoes and I ran for a minute or so, then they put in different orthotics and I ran again then again.  It was easy running- and they were really helpful- showing me what happens to my feet when I run- I land pretty much with a flat foot and then transfer to the ball of my foot and then I don’t really use my toes to toe-off.  It didn’t even take an hour and if you have time on a Wednesday then they need runners- injured or not to email  mooks1@hotmail.com  and make a time to find out if your arches are as beautifully formed as mine. 

Then I went home and ran with the Lazy Dog around a local footy oval- though the lazy dog worked out quite quickly that if she just stood in the middle of the oval I would be near her at some stage and she didn’t really need to follow me at all.  I finally did 10:1 run:walk- but it was very very shuffly. 

Am planning a swim in the morning if the magic 8 ball agrees- I have decided that all major enquires should be run past the magic 8 ball- and so far so good.

Almighty pain in the ar$e

While todays heading also describes my workplace sometimes, today it also refers to the fact that I can tell you how many seams there are in my bike shorts by counting the red raw welts/chafed areas on my butt.  It hurts, a lot.

I had a run around the lake with The Running Dog this morning- more of a shuffle than anything else due to the fact that I had nothing left in my legs.  It was freezing cold and I had to scrape ice off the windscreen to drive to the lake.  We did the usual 8:1 run:walk and it was pretty easy- Wednesday I will be stepping up to 10:1.  Though I also have to head to Bundoora and do the running on the treadmill thing for some study I volunteered for.

I work with just blokes, sometimes they bother me, sometimes I let them know but normally I just let all their comments go through to the keeper without telling them what I think so they don’t tell me that I am just a silly hysterical rabid feminist greenie who is probably a lezzo.  We have to have a work function and they all voted to have a posh dinner and bring their partners because they think the wives don’t get enough support.  I think that if their wives don’t get enough support then they should take them out to dinner when I don’t also have to be there.  I am taking The Running Dog as my date- she is far more interesting than any of them.

I nearly made it to Frankston!

After the Snoring Dog and I had a quick walk in the rain (both in our raincoats) this morning, I put on everything I own and went for a ride down beach road- I had to go via work because there were even more clothes there I could put on- and my bike pump was there too.

Beach Road was very quiet this morning and I can only assume that normal weekend cyclists:

- didn’t get drunk on Friday night

- got up on Saturday morning and all their cycling gear was in the cupboard not the dirty laundry hamper

- rode down Beach Road in the sunshine and had a lovely time

- stayed up and watched Cadel fail in his attempt to take the lead in the Tour

- and slept in Sunday morning.

Sadly, I had to ride this morning in the freezing cold and the pouring rain.  I was really unpleasant- and I think my booties need waterproofing.  I nearly made it to Frankston! I have never ever ever been excited about going to Frankston- especially because I learnt all about crime there in the early days of my career at Target!  Several times it just bucketed down and I wet right through, then I would gradually dry off (but not my butt- seriously, why are we too cool for mudguards?) then it started again.

I was passed by one girl on a hill, only to have her practically stop pedalling so I managed to easily fly past her on the down hill with my fat girl (f=ma)* speed.

92km all up and I know that is a woosy effort and I should have had a shot at the ton- but all in good time.

Friday night I went to a family type dinner with Mum and Dad’s school friends and their kids who are about my age- it was a great night and I spent a bit of time asking silly questions of Lara who is about five years older than me and years ago I thought she was amazing and was a bit intimidated by her- even more so now that she has done several ironman triathlons and spends a lot of time each day exercising and mothering 3 beautiful kids.  One of the other girls did Trailwalker this year and is doing Around The Bay In A Day so we exchanged numbers - though I am way to slow to ride with either of them.

Anyhoo, time to shower and unfreeze these lumps of ice at the end of my legs.

*force=mass x acceleration

I got up this morning after thinking briefly about hitting snooze and going back to sleep- but then I realised that I should run every chance I get because so often I am not able to run- and amazing people like Em and Alison remind me of that- they would probably love to be out running in the ohmigod freezing cold at 5am on a Thursday morning (maybe) and I hope it isn’t long before they can. I then briefly imagined that my joints hurt and that it was raining before I bit the bullet and got up.

I did 8:1 run:walk around the lake- it wasn’t as hard as I thought- then when I did the maths in my head I realised that by increasing from 6:1 I wasn’t actually increasing the amount of time that I was running by a whole lot at all- 6:1  for 40 minutes has 5 minutes of walking in it, 8:1 for 40 minutes has 4 minutes of walking.  (Man I hope that is right!)

Anyway the Lamington Dog (seriously what else do you call a black wet dog that rolls in a pile of dried grass clippings) and I had a great run- even though it was massively cold and TLD had to spend the whole side of the lake that houses possums on the lead.  We didn’t run down the little road, we stayed on the normal track but I still saw about 3 possums- TLD only saw 1- and nearly dragged my arm off. 

As usual I rode to work- I am in the swing of it now and the changing etc goes very smoothly and (tempting fate here) I have only forgotten my bra about 20 times.

This morning started poorly and ended up worse- just so you know, I love possums, I love all furry little animals- my cat Chester once killed a possum and ate it in my mum’s car, leaving only the bottom half which I then removed with a shovel and Chester dragged it around to the front of the house during breakfast whereupon we saw it was still moving- yep, baby possum still alive in the pouch- and I got up every four hours to feed it until sadly it passed away. I promise I love possums. Sadly, so does Bella, for breakfast.

It absolutely poured down when The Murderous Dog and I headed around the lake this morning- I was sure it was going to clear up and we kept going, it didn’t let up and at one stage the rain hurt my face and I sheltered in one of those little sheds. We kept going and finally it was cold and windy but not raining. I like to run down the little road that goes through the park itself that isn’t actually open to traffic, and even though it is pitch black I always feel quite safe with TMD. Sadly when we came upon a little possum on the road TMD was onto it straight away ( I like to think it was on the road because it had fallen out of a tree and was lying there dying and TMD just helped it shuffle off it’s mortal coil). TMD killed it straighaway- just crushed it in her jaws

It is really hard to chastise her for obeying her natural instinct (she is part Staffy and I think they are rat dogs) - like when she chases the cat- she didn’t look very happy when I made her drop it and leave it and I felt like a terrible dog owner. When I told the Well Dressed Sister she said “That is great” until I told her about what it looks like when a possum is crushed to death.

Anyway, we went home and then I rode to work in the rain also. Hope those dams are filling up as fast as my shoes.

I have been quite good for the past few week with my eating- and I just made a Chicken and Chickpea stew that just looked like soup but it had very little fat at all and wasn’t nice enough for me to over eat!